Happy New Year!

I can’t remember the last time I was so ready for a year to be over. 2018 came in like a wrecking ball. It punched hard in just about every area of my life. I could write another book on this year alone. I think I am just now starting to catch my breath. I don’t say this for pity. It is just my reality and God has been so faithful to me every step of the way. My mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer early in the year and passed away in August. She has always been a fighter. I’m pretty sure that is where I get it from. She fought hard for as long as she could…even after treatment was no longer feasible. I don’t believe I have fully processed her loss. In the midst of this I was feeling pretty bad physically, although I hid it pretty well. It was determined I would need a hysterectomy. That came with a whole other set of thoughts and feelings. So surgery it was. Then, I lost my job. I knew this was likely coming. I was a care-care-giver and the guy I took care of has gotten so much better. I am ecstatic for all the forward progress and healing that happened in the almost 7 years I worked there. This was the goal … independence for him. However, expecting it or not, it was still hard. I also found out I was going to have to move and then a few short weeks later I got the call that my mom passed away. A few days after that a precious friend of mine passed away as well. This is the major things that happened and they all happened in a 6 week period of time.

So … the question I faced was where do I go from here and how do I get from here. I mean I had major life decisions to make and no real capacity, at that time, to make them. BUT GOD! I did what I knew to do, in the natural. I got up out of bed even when I didn’t want to or think that I could. I prayed. I worshipped. I thanked God for all that I had and I was blessed with even in the midst of the storm. I cried. I put one foot in front of the other not really sure where I was going. I looked for jobs and looked a bunch that would have been torturous. My thought was whatever I have to do to pay the bills. I was told about job openings as a Special Education Teacher’s Assistant. This terrified me because it was so far beyond anything in my tool box of talents, abilities, and past experiences. It took me about 3 days to decide to submit my resume. While it terrified me it was the only job I saw where I might be able to make a difference to someone, which is so important to me. Making a difference in lives is my heartbeat and life purpose. I decided the worst that will happen is I’d epically fail and go back to job hunting. There wasn’t really much to lose. I got the job and it is definitely challenging and has it moments but it fulfills me and I believe on some level I am making a difference and hope I am not epically failing :-). I have co-workers which is something I really missed having. God knew this was the job for me and even directed me to the right school. The people I work with are amazing and are  and becoming my friends.

Next was housing which really stressed me out. BUT GOD!! Housing is so expensive where I am at and I wasn’t sure what to do. I explored a ton of options, roommate, no roommate, apartment after apartment and craigslist ad after craigslist ad. None of these options were intriguing but I was willing to do what needed to be done. I knew that buying was the best route financially because mortgage would be significantly less than rent. In my mind there was no way. This was completely outside the realm of possibility. Well not for God. Through paid off debts, money for the down payment, and series of other events that would take to long to explain I bought a townhouse. Me … a homeowner. It finally happened. Who would have thought. God … that’s who. I have looked and dreamed at buying for over 10 years now. He blew my housing expectations out of the water as He has done before.
I say all this to say it has been a really hard year with a lot of loss and grief and unknowns. God doesn’t promise that things won’t be hard. He does promise that He will NEVER leave us or forsake us. I can look back at this year and see so many little and big things God has done for me in 2018, ways that He let me know He was right there with me. He gave me strength when I had none. He gave me joy and laughter in the midst of pain. He gave me courage when I was scared and comfort when I was sad. He gave me friends and prayer warriors to help me through. He literally reminded me and showed me every day that I wasn’t alone and that if I continued to trust in Him and follow Him He would work it out.

I go into 2019 expectant for all that God has in store for me. He is faithful. He is just and His mercies are new every morning. I go into 2019 knowing that I will still be processing some of 2018 events but also knowing that God is going to do far more than I could ever ask, think, or imagine.  I want to encourage you today that no matter where you are or what you are facing you are loved. You are valued. You are not alone. Trust in the one who created you. He will guide you and comfort you and make a way where there seems to be no way. 

While I have been pretty quite this year. Please know that you are all special to me. I am always praying for you and am here if you need me.

Much Love!

Dallas

Some memories from 2018

Transformed

Hi All! 

This update is long past due. There have been exciting things going on. I have launched my website www.dallasfreeman.com. There is lots of fun stuff on there. You can learn more about me and my new book as well as read a few reviews. I also have a podcast interview up and a clip of a 5 minute speaking spot that I was able to do.

About 6 months ago I released my first book Transformed: From Abused & Addicted to Living a Life of Purpose & Love. This project was a huge step of faith for me as I stepped into an extremely vulnerable place and told my story like never before. The purpose for this is because I want to encourage and inspire people to NEVER GIVE UP! I want people to see that no matter what has happened to them or what they have done they can overcome. 

If you know someone, or you yourself, has been hurt, rejected, bullied, or abused; please get this book. I want you to see and know that you can overcome your circumstances and heal from your pain.

You can purchase straight through me using PayPal, Venmo, or Cash App and get them 2 for $20.00. They are also available on Amazon and Kindle.

Much love and Blessings,

Dallas

Transformed: From Abused & Addicted to Living a Life of Purpose & Love

Hello friends!

I want to take just a quick minute to let you know what I have been working on. I am happy to say I have written a book. I believe that the testimony of what I have been through and overcome will be used to encourage people to keep fighting through their struggles. I have dreamed about writing a book for many years and I have finally taken the steps to make this happen. The book is now getting ready to begin the publishing process. 

I want to first ask you for your prayers for this process but most importantly the book. I am praying and believing this book will be a tool God will use to bring transformation in others. 

Secondly, by contributing you will help get my story into the hands of people who need to be encouraged to keep fighting, and who need to see there is an amazing life beyond abuse and addiction. Please donate to this project. Together we can help save and change lives! 
 
ANY DONATION OF $25 OR MORE WILL RECEIVE AN AUTOGRAPHED ADVANCE COPY!

You can contribute to me directly through paypal at dallas.f.freeman@gmail.com or through my Indiegogo page here. All donations will go directly towards publishing costs.

Thank you for your time.

Much love,
Dallas

Every Season

This weekend I went to a conference in MO. I had worship music playing in my car while driving. Desert Song (written by Jill McCloghry) came on my playlist and as I was listening to the song, God began to speak to me. The bridge of the song says:

All of my life 
In every season 
You are still God
I have a reason to sing 
I have a reason to worship 

I began to think about all the seasons I have been through and the one I am currently in. There have been seasons of healing, seasons of being on top of the mountain, seasons of loneliness, seasons of depression, seasons of feeling bloodied, beat up, and defeated, seasons of feeling victorious, seasons of pain, and seasons of being faithful while waiting for the next thing to happen and wondering if it ever will. 

The thing that I realize about all of these seasons is that God never changed. He remained the same. He was my constant. He never left my side. I also realized that in every season of my life I have ALWAYS had a reason to sing and praise; even when I felt defeated and didn't think I could go on, I still had breath in my lungs and a life to live. I still knew that God was going to help me make it another day. I want to remind you that NO MATTER what you are facing, no matter what may be happening or not happening for you God is with you. He has not forgot you. He is working behind the scenes on your behalf. Keep your eyes and heart focused on Him. You have a reason to sing. You have a reason to worship.

For Such a Time as This

The story of Esther has always been one that inspired me. Esther was willing to risk her own life for the sake of her people. She knew that the only way she could save the Jews was to go before the King and Esther was postured in a place of royalty for this purpose. However, even the queen was not allowed go before the king without being asked by him. If anyone went before the king and he didn't raise his scepter, they would be killed. Her uncle Mordecai told her that she was called for such a time as this (Esther 4:14). I have been told several times that I am called for such a time as this. I recently began to ask myself, “Do I have enough trust in God and even obedience in God that I would be willing to put my physical life on the line to do what he told me?” We say all the time that we are willing to do whatever God asks of us, but I wonder how many of us really mean it? Would we give up our very life to save someone else's? Would we lay down the things that matter the most to us for the sake of our destiny? We all have greatness on the inside of us, but are we willing to sacrifice our time, money and resources to access that greatness and achieve our dreams? Are we willing to pay the price? Do we have a desire to accomplish something that is far greater than ourselves? Let's make a choice today to rise up and live out our "for such a time as this moments"!

The Struggle is Real

Most of you know that I have been on a journey to get and be healthy. I have struggled with being overweight most of my adult life. I have lost weight and gained it all back plus some more than once. My struggle to be healthy and to live a healthy lifestyle does not really come from laziness or lack of discipline, although making good food choices can be tough and does require discipline. My battle is mental. I have struggled with feeling inadequate, insecure, discouraged, feeling as that I wasn’t important or didn’t matter. Because of these insecurities I did not want people to notice me or pay attention to me and in an effort to cope with these feeling I would eat. I would eat junk and eat when I wasn’t hungry because it was how I coped with the way I felt about myself; rather than dealing with the root issues. 

In June of this year I found myself the heaviest I have ever been, weighing in at 248 pounds. I felt horrible and I hated seeing myself in pictures. I was honestly disgusted with the way I looked and wanted desperately for it to be different. I was forced to take a hard look at myself and this is when I realized what I had been doing, using food as a vice. It was in this moment that I had to decide whether I was going to continue to feed my feelings with food or whether I was going to deal with my insecurities and my feeling of inadequacies. It was in this moment that the struggle became real for me. It was in this moment that I understood what was really going on and I was now responsible to do something about it.

I wish I could say this has been an easy process but I would be lying. It has taken a lot of discipline, accountability, and determination. The insecurities, body issues, emotional eating, and cravings didn't just stop because I decided I wanted to deal with them. I had to fight through those everyday. I had to decide to allow God to be my source of comfort instead of food. I had to allow people to know how I was really feeling so they could help me through the tough moments. I had to force myself to do what was right instead of what felt good in the moment. Minute by minute and day by day I had to make a choice to fuel my body with healthy food and to workout. I had to choose to deal with my insecurities head on. I had to come to a place where I was able to accept the fact that I am beautiful and adequate and worth people noticing and loving.  I had to decide to love myself. I had to daily choose to conquer my thoughts and dismiss them. As I began to do this I began to have victories I could celebrate. With each small victory I gained a little more confidence in myself and was motivated to keep going and to push harder.

I’m not perfect. I still mess up sometimes but I have people in my life who help keep me on track and motivated. In the course of 7 months I have lost around 50 pds and 30.5 body inches. I have completely changed my eating and I am usually at the gym 4-6 times a week.

I wanted to share my struggle with you because I want you to have the courage and confidence to conquer whatever it is you struggle with. It may be health, insecurity, a failed marriage, abandonment, or something else. I want you to know that you don't have to stay there. You don't have to be a victim of what life is throwing at you or of past decisions. Today is a new day. Put on your boxing gloves, fight your struggles, and live victoriously!!!

Left - June 2013 and Right - October 2013

 

Simply Love

Love means to have affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor. It also means a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. Love and loving people is something that I am extremely passionate about.

In our society, love has become an emotion that we turn on and off based on what is convenient and feels good in the moment. It has become a word that we toss around without really thinking of the implications and commitment that should go with that word.

I am seeing more and more people being loved when it is fun, easy, and convenient; when everything is great in their lives and the blessings are flowing. Basically we like to love and support people when there is no work involved. However, when things get messy we want to turn our backs and walk away rather than get a little dirty helping someone through the mess.

Here's the deal: Life is messy and life is complicated.  Things are not always black and white...even though we wish they were. We never really know the depth of what is going on in someone's life and we don't need to know. Their life is not for us to judge. It's not our business nor is it our place.

Our job is to love people right where they are, in the middle of the mess, in the complicated times, in the times when it isn't easy or fun. That is when people need us the most. That is when people need to be loved and supported. We need to stop walking out on people when they do something we don't agree with or commit a sin. Everybody sins. None of us are perfect.

I want to challenge you to live each day simply loving people right where they are; in the middle of the messy and complicated; to not be the person who walks out during tough times. Try being the person who walks in during tough times and simply loves!! Love heals, covers, appreciates, is sometimes inconvenient, and often difficult. However, I believe loving is one of the most important thing we can do.

Much Love,
Dallas