Happy New Year!

I can’t remember the last time I was so ready for a year to be over. 2018 came in like a wrecking ball. It punched hard in just about every area of my life. I could write another book on this year alone. I think I am just now starting to catch my breath. I don’t say this for pity. It is just my reality and God has been so faithful to me every step of the way. My mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer early in the year and passed away in August. She has always been a fighter. I’m pretty sure that is where I get it from. She fought hard for as long as she could…even after treatment was no longer feasible. I don’t believe I have fully processed her loss. In the midst of this I was feeling pretty bad physically, although I hid it pretty well. It was determined I would need a hysterectomy. That came with a whole other set of thoughts and feelings. So surgery it was. Then, I lost my job. I knew this was likely coming. I was a care-care-giver and the guy I took care of has gotten so much better. I am ecstatic for all the forward progress and healing that happened in the almost 7 years I worked there. This was the goal … independence for him. However, expecting it or not, it was still hard. I also found out I was going to have to move and then a few short weeks later I got the call that my mom passed away. A few days after that a precious friend of mine passed away as well. This is the major things that happened and they all happened in a 6 week period of time.

So … the question I faced was where do I go from here and how do I get from here. I mean I had major life decisions to make and no real capacity, at that time, to make them. BUT GOD! I did what I knew to do, in the natural. I got up out of bed even when I didn’t want to or think that I could. I prayed. I worshipped. I thanked God for all that I had and I was blessed with even in the midst of the storm. I cried. I put one foot in front of the other not really sure where I was going. I looked for jobs and looked a bunch that would have been torturous. My thought was whatever I have to do to pay the bills. I was told about job openings as a Special Education Teacher’s Assistant. This terrified me because it was so far beyond anything in my tool box of talents, abilities, and past experiences. It took me about 3 days to decide to submit my resume. While it terrified me it was the only job I saw where I might be able to make a difference to someone, which is so important to me. Making a difference in lives is my heartbeat and life purpose. I decided the worst that will happen is I’d epically fail and go back to job hunting. There wasn’t really much to lose. I got the job and it is definitely challenging and has it moments but it fulfills me and I believe on some level I am making a difference and hope I am not epically failing :-). I have co-workers which is something I really missed having. God knew this was the job for me and even directed me to the right school. The people I work with are amazing and are  and becoming my friends.

Next was housing which really stressed me out. BUT GOD!! Housing is so expensive where I am at and I wasn’t sure what to do. I explored a ton of options, roommate, no roommate, apartment after apartment and craigslist ad after craigslist ad. None of these options were intriguing but I was willing to do what needed to be done. I knew that buying was the best route financially because mortgage would be significantly less than rent. In my mind there was no way. This was completely outside the realm of possibility. Well not for God. Through paid off debts, money for the down payment, and series of other events that would take to long to explain I bought a townhouse. Me … a homeowner. It finally happened. Who would have thought. God … that’s who. I have looked and dreamed at buying for over 10 years now. He blew my housing expectations out of the water as He has done before.
I say all this to say it has been a really hard year with a lot of loss and grief and unknowns. God doesn’t promise that things won’t be hard. He does promise that He will NEVER leave us or forsake us. I can look back at this year and see so many little and big things God has done for me in 2018, ways that He let me know He was right there with me. He gave me strength when I had none. He gave me joy and laughter in the midst of pain. He gave me courage when I was scared and comfort when I was sad. He gave me friends and prayer warriors to help me through. He literally reminded me and showed me every day that I wasn’t alone and that if I continued to trust in Him and follow Him He would work it out.

I go into 2019 expectant for all that God has in store for me. He is faithful. He is just and His mercies are new every morning. I go into 2019 knowing that I will still be processing some of 2018 events but also knowing that God is going to do far more than I could ever ask, think, or imagine.  I want to encourage you today that no matter where you are or what you are facing you are loved. You are valued. You are not alone. Trust in the one who created you. He will guide you and comfort you and make a way where there seems to be no way. 

While I have been pretty quite this year. Please know that you are all special to me. I am always praying for you and am here if you need me.

Much Love!

Dallas

Some memories from 2018

Transformed

Hi All! 

This update is long past due. There have been exciting things going on. I have launched my website www.dallasfreeman.com. There is lots of fun stuff on there. You can learn more about me and my new book as well as read a few reviews. I also have a podcast interview up and a clip of a 5 minute speaking spot that I was able to do.

About 6 months ago I released my first book Transformed: From Abused & Addicted to Living a Life of Purpose & Love. This project was a huge step of faith for me as I stepped into an extremely vulnerable place and told my story like never before. The purpose for this is because I want to encourage and inspire people to NEVER GIVE UP! I want people to see that no matter what has happened to them or what they have done they can overcome. 

If you know someone, or you yourself, has been hurt, rejected, bullied, or abused; please get this book. I want you to see and know that you can overcome your circumstances and heal from your pain.

You can purchase straight through me using PayPal, Venmo, or Cash App and get them 2 for $20.00. They are also available on Amazon and Kindle.

Much love and Blessings,

Dallas

Transformed: From Abused & Addicted to Living a Life of Purpose & Love

Hello friends!

I want to take just a quick minute to let you know what I have been working on. I am happy to say I have written a book. I believe that the testimony of what I have been through and overcome will be used to encourage people to keep fighting through their struggles. I have dreamed about writing a book for many years and I have finally taken the steps to make this happen. The book is now getting ready to begin the publishing process. 

I want to first ask you for your prayers for this process but most importantly the book. I am praying and believing this book will be a tool God will use to bring transformation in others. 

Secondly, by contributing you will help get my story into the hands of people who need to be encouraged to keep fighting, and who need to see there is an amazing life beyond abuse and addiction. Please donate to this project. Together we can help save and change lives! 
 
ANY DONATION OF $25 OR MORE WILL RECEIVE AN AUTOGRAPHED ADVANCE COPY!

You can contribute to me directly through paypal at dallas.f.freeman@gmail.com or through my Indiegogo page here. All donations will go directly towards publishing costs.

Thank you for your time.

Much love,
Dallas

Every Season

This weekend I went to a conference in MO. I had worship music playing in my car while driving. Desert Song (written by Jill McCloghry) came on my playlist and as I was listening to the song, God began to speak to me. The bridge of the song says:

All of my life 
In every season 
You are still God
I have a reason to sing 
I have a reason to worship 

I began to think about all the seasons I have been through and the one I am currently in. There have been seasons of healing, seasons of being on top of the mountain, seasons of loneliness, seasons of depression, seasons of feeling bloodied, beat up, and defeated, seasons of feeling victorious, seasons of pain, and seasons of being faithful while waiting for the next thing to happen and wondering if it ever will. 

The thing that I realize about all of these seasons is that God never changed. He remained the same. He was my constant. He never left my side. I also realized that in every season of my life I have ALWAYS had a reason to sing and praise; even when I felt defeated and didn't think I could go on, I still had breath in my lungs and a life to live. I still knew that God was going to help me make it another day. I want to remind you that NO MATTER what you are facing, no matter what may be happening or not happening for you God is with you. He has not forgot you. He is working behind the scenes on your behalf. Keep your eyes and heart focused on Him. You have a reason to sing. You have a reason to worship.

For Such a Time as This

The story of Esther has always been one that inspired me. Esther was willing to risk her own life for the sake of her people. She knew that the only way she could save the Jews was to go before the King and Esther was postured in a place of royalty for this purpose. However, even the queen was not allowed go before the king without being asked by him. If anyone went before the king and he didn't raise his scepter, they would be killed. Her uncle Mordecai told her that she was called for such a time as this (Esther 4:14). I have been told several times that I am called for such a time as this. I recently began to ask myself, “Do I have enough trust in God and even obedience in God that I would be willing to put my physical life on the line to do what he told me?” We say all the time that we are willing to do whatever God asks of us, but I wonder how many of us really mean it? Would we give up our very life to save someone else's? Would we lay down the things that matter the most to us for the sake of our destiny? We all have greatness on the inside of us, but are we willing to sacrifice our time, money and resources to access that greatness and achieve our dreams? Are we willing to pay the price? Do we have a desire to accomplish something that is far greater than ourselves? Let's make a choice today to rise up and live out our "for such a time as this moments"!

The Struggle is Real

Most of you know that I have been on a journey to get and be healthy. I have struggled with being overweight most of my adult life. I have lost weight and gained it all back plus some more than once. My struggle to be healthy and to live a healthy lifestyle does not really come from laziness or lack of discipline, although making good food choices can be tough and does require discipline. My battle is mental. I have struggled with feeling inadequate, insecure, discouraged, feeling as that I wasn’t important or didn’t matter. Because of these insecurities I did not want people to notice me or pay attention to me and in an effort to cope with these feeling I would eat. I would eat junk and eat when I wasn’t hungry because it was how I coped with the way I felt about myself; rather than dealing with the root issues. 

In June of this year I found myself the heaviest I have ever been, weighing in at 248 pounds. I felt horrible and I hated seeing myself in pictures. I was honestly disgusted with the way I looked and wanted desperately for it to be different. I was forced to take a hard look at myself and this is when I realized what I had been doing, using food as a vice. It was in this moment that I had to decide whether I was going to continue to feed my feelings with food or whether I was going to deal with my insecurities and my feeling of inadequacies. It was in this moment that the struggle became real for me. It was in this moment that I understood what was really going on and I was now responsible to do something about it.

I wish I could say this has been an easy process but I would be lying. It has taken a lot of discipline, accountability, and determination. The insecurities, body issues, emotional eating, and cravings didn't just stop because I decided I wanted to deal with them. I had to fight through those everyday. I had to decide to allow God to be my source of comfort instead of food. I had to allow people to know how I was really feeling so they could help me through the tough moments. I had to force myself to do what was right instead of what felt good in the moment. Minute by minute and day by day I had to make a choice to fuel my body with healthy food and to workout. I had to choose to deal with my insecurities head on. I had to come to a place where I was able to accept the fact that I am beautiful and adequate and worth people noticing and loving.  I had to decide to love myself. I had to daily choose to conquer my thoughts and dismiss them. As I began to do this I began to have victories I could celebrate. With each small victory I gained a little more confidence in myself and was motivated to keep going and to push harder.

I’m not perfect. I still mess up sometimes but I have people in my life who help keep me on track and motivated. In the course of 7 months I have lost around 50 pds and 30.5 body inches. I have completely changed my eating and I am usually at the gym 4-6 times a week.

I wanted to share my struggle with you because I want you to have the courage and confidence to conquer whatever it is you struggle with. It may be health, insecurity, a failed marriage, abandonment, or something else. I want you to know that you don't have to stay there. You don't have to be a victim of what life is throwing at you or of past decisions. Today is a new day. Put on your boxing gloves, fight your struggles, and live victoriously!!!

Left - June 2013 and Right - October 2013

 

Simply Love

Love means to have affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor. It also means a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. Love and loving people is something that I am extremely passionate about.

In our society, love has become an emotion that we turn on and off based on what is convenient and feels good in the moment. It has become a word that we toss around without really thinking of the implications and commitment that should go with that word.

I am seeing more and more people being loved when it is fun, easy, and convenient; when everything is great in their lives and the blessings are flowing. Basically we like to love and support people when there is no work involved. However, when things get messy we want to turn our backs and walk away rather than get a little dirty helping someone through the mess.

Here's the deal: Life is messy and life is complicated.  Things are not always black and white...even though we wish they were. We never really know the depth of what is going on in someone's life and we don't need to know. Their life is not for us to judge. It's not our business nor is it our place.

Our job is to love people right where they are, in the middle of the mess, in the complicated times, in the times when it isn't easy or fun. That is when people need us the most. That is when people need to be loved and supported. We need to stop walking out on people when they do something we don't agree with or commit a sin. Everybody sins. None of us are perfect.

I want to challenge you to live each day simply loving people right where they are; in the middle of the messy and complicated; to not be the person who walks out during tough times. Try being the person who walks in during tough times and simply loves!! Love heals, covers, appreciates, is sometimes inconvenient, and often difficult. However, I believe loving is one of the most important thing we can do.

Much Love,
Dallas

Crutches

I recently had the pleasure of speaking to a group of college age students. God gave me a powerful word to share with these students and I wanted to take the opportunity to share it with you today.  I spoke to them about how we choose who our circumstances dictate us to become.

As many of you know, I grew up in a dysfunctional household that was filled with abuse and rejection. When I was no longer in this household I began to start down the same path, making a lot of mistakes and getting involved in things I had not business being involved in. When I was 22 I began a relationship with God and everything changed for me. See for the first time in my life I had a hope that things could be different. However, I had to allow myself to be changed. I had to allow God into the deep places of my heart and bring healing to my pain.

When this was happening I was extremely uncomfortable because as I allowed God to heal my heart I began to feel things I had not felt in a long time. I began to be happy, hopeful, caring, loving, and lovable. During this time I wanted to run back to what was comfortable which was hopelessness, depression, drugs, alcohol, and many other things. These things had been my crutches for so long. They allowed me to function in the midst of being miserable, defeated, and hopeless. Functioning without my crutches was difficult. However, I knew this was a defining moment in my life. I knew that I could press through the process, being uncomfortable for a season, and be able to get rid of my crutches once and for all or I could continue to allow my crutches to lead me into a life full of despair, hurt, and disappointment. The decision was mine. I had to choose whether I was going to let my circumstances, the hand I had been dealt continue to define me as a victim or if I would fight through being uncomfortable, learning to walk without crutches, and become victorious. I chose to become victorious.

I often think about Joseph and how he had to make the same decision, whether to be a victim or victor. Joseph was given a dream from God. He shared this dream with his brothers and they plotted to kill him, threw him in a well, and then sold him into Slavery. He was then falsely accused of sleeping with Potiphar’s wife, put into prison, forgotten about, and then he finally begins to see his dream come to fruition. I’m sure Joseph probably felt abandoned, rejected, and often discouraged. It is completely understandable that he would feel that way. Joseph could have chose to become angry, bitter, resentful, sad, discouraged, doubtful, mad, to want revenge, and never accomplish his dreams. Joseph chose to rise above his circumstances and reach for the sky. He chose not to let his circumstances keep him from all that God had and wanted for him.

I would encourage you today to examine your heart and ask God what crutches you might be holding onto and what areas you need to allow Him to bring change.  Then I would encourage you to throw down those crutches and allow God to help you change the way you let your circumstances define you. Choose today to go from victim to victor!!

Much Love,

Dallas

Peace In the Midst...

2013 has been a year like none other. Having started this year finishing my degree, I had high anticipation of things to come. There are things I thought I would be doing this year that I am not YET doing. However, I am continuing to be faithful with what God gives me. I have learned it is important to seize every opportunity that comes our way to love people, tell them about Jesus, and show them who Jesus is through our actions. After all, this is what ministry is about. We should always be about the one. We should live our life striving to know our creator and make Him known. As I have been faithful to accept the opportunities given to me, I have been given more.

This year I have walked with people through both very good times and very bad times. I have officiated weddings and spoken at funerals. I have counseled, loved, and supported people through tragedy, marital issues, and the loss of precious loved ones. There were moments when I didn’t understand what happened or why and nor did I pretend to. Sometimes as ministers and friends we think we need to understand or have the answers. That is simply not true. It is okay not to have all the answers. What I did know and understand was that people needed the love and grace of God like never before.

Through all the good times and bad times this year that I have experienced personally or helped someone through I always had peace. I had peace because I know that no matter what God is in control. He is with us and never leaves us. This year has reminded me that life is so short and so valuable. We only have one life. What we do with that life matters. What matters most is Jesus is Lord and that we have accepted Him as our personal Lord and Savior. Through all of life’s ups and downs there is comfort, grace, and a peace that passes understanding in knowing that no matter what God is always there for you and always has a plan for you. 

Much Love,
Dallas

Pressing Through the Process

As some of you may know I recently began a journey to get in shape, become healthy, and to take better care of the body that God gave me. I am calling this ever important journey operation be healthy.  I am more determined than ever to make this vitally important lifestyle change because I know there is only one me and If I don't take care of myself I may not be able to accomplish all that I desire and all that God has planned for me.

At the beginning of this journey I decided to register for a half marathon. I am using the race date to help keep me on track with training and a goal to reach. 

Today the running schedule called for a 6.5 mile run. I can not run 6.5 miles yet and I was a little uncertain about whether or not I could go the distance. However, I set out with my team to do a run/walk. I started out strong and felt great. I went from unsure about the distance to confident I could get it done. Then mile 4 happened. During mile 4 fatigue began to set it, my feet were tired, I was hungry, and hot. I stopped running for a second and was beginning to doubt my ability to finish the run. In my mind there was no way I was going to make it back to the starting point. I had no choice though. My car was at the starting point. My only option was to push through how I was feeling, to push through the doubt and keep going. While I was running those last 2.5 miles I started to feel better again. The fatigue was going away. My hunger was going away. My stamina was coming back.

God began to speak to me during this time. I began to think about how many people get to that place of fatigue in their life journey, about how many people give up on the path to achieving their dreams. As I thought about this God began speaking to me. He said if you press through the fatigue and if you won't quit when you're discouraged, you will make it. In those times of fatigue, discouragement, frustration, and pain God will give you everything you need to make it the finish line and to achieve the dreams. As we press through we open the door for God to shower us with grace and strength to persevere. We open the door for Him to supply everything we need. It is in that moment of pressing that we stop relying on our own strength and have to begin relying on His strength. Nothing is impossible with God's strength. My encouragement to you today is to NEVER give up, NEVER stop pressing through. DON'T give up on your dream half way there. Allow God to be your source and your center. He will take you farther than you ever imagined you could go on your own. When I completed my run I learned it was a 6.9 mile run. I went almost a half-mile more than planned and almost three miles after I thought I couldn't go any farther. Believe in yourself enough and the God we serve enough to allow Him to show up and show out in your life. 

Much Love,
Dallas

Philippians 4:13     2 Corinthians 4:9     2 Corinthians 12:9

 

Conscious Decisions

Hi Everyone, I wanted to share with you a paper that I wrote this week for school. It was about making conscious decisions. So... please read below.

I have found myself engaging in numerous conversations with individuals who want to change their life. They want to heal from their hurts, disappointments, failures, and perceived shortcomings. They say that they want to grow, change and to be better than their circumstances say they are. However, in talking with them I was not fully convinced they really wanted to heal, change, or make a choice to be better. I was met with excuses, people not really wanting to allow God to change them, their future and purpose. I found that in all the discussions the same two words kept coming from my mouth. They were conscious decision.

Conscious means: aware; aware of your environment, yourself, facts and objects; in a state of mental awareness. Decision means: the act of deciding; a judgment or conclusion reached by deciding. We must make a conscious decision to change. We must decide that we want to heal. We must decide that we want to change, that we want to rise above our circumstances. We must decide we want to be better.  I am learning that a lot of times in life people try to make things more difficult then they have to be.

The first decision that many people fight with is giving their life to God. There is this fear in believing in someone you can’t see. The fear that you will lose yourself and become one of those Jesus freaks that everyone talks about. Making a decision to give your life to the Lord is the best thing anyone can do. You are never alone after that. He is always with you.
When you make the decision to give your life over to God, you must then make a conscious decision to allow Him to begin to change you from the inside out. This is a painful process because God begins to bring your hurts, failures and disappointments to the surface. Many people stop the process because they can’t handle dealing with looking into the mirror of their life. Some stop at this point in the process because even though they want something more than their current situation, they would rather stay where they are and be comfortable than be uncomfortable for the sake of change. Others will say they can’t let God work in this because it’s just too painful. All these decisions are made purely on their emotions. It comes down to this. You have to make a conscious decision to allow God to help you change. It all comes down too making a conscious decision to allow God help you overcome your hurt, disappointments, failures, and perceived shortcomings so that you can walk in your purpose.

Here are some excuses I have heard on why people can’t change, heal, and overcome their circumstances. They can’t change because it is too hard; They are this way because of the way they were raised so they can’t help it. We can all change. We can all become better people and Godly people no matter how we were raised but again it comes down to making a conscious decision. I was raised in a home with abusive alcoholic drug addicted parents but I am not an abusive alcoholic drug addicted adult. I made a conscious decision to be different than my parents. It wasn’t easy but I knew it was a decision that I had to make. The people who used the excuse of its too hard were half way correct. It is not easy to change; too make a choice not based on how you feel in the moment but rather on what you want out of life and what you know is right. Making excuses or saying I can’t is the easy way out of a situation. If you tell yourself and those around you that you can’t then no one expects anything from you and you never let anyone down.

Everyone has a future and a purpose although not everyone believes it. It is disheartening to listen to people tell me their dreams and what they want to do with their life but then never chase after these dreams. So many people never go after their dreams because it is more comfortable and safe feeling to just continue their life of meritocracy.  People are not willing to sacrifice security to take a risk and step into their destiny. Make a conscious decision go after your dreams and your purpose. Make a decision to live a life with no regrets. Make a decision to fight for the things you want out of life and too not settle for less than God’s best for you.

I think that once people start to make conscious decisions in their life, they will go a lot further. It is easy to make a decision based on feeling or out of your emotions but I think that it is an entirely much harder thing to make a decision when you are solid as a rock. When you make a decision out of emotion and you don’t follow through, it seems like not a big deal because you were just emotional that day. However, making a decision when you are not emotional and then not following through leaves you feeling as though you failed or didn’t live up to the expectation you had for your life, your day, your situation, or your circumstance. So I think that if people would start seeking God and making decisions based on what they know then maybe there would be more people in the world who aren’t staying where it’s comfortable.

Much love,

Dallas

 

Get Off the Sidelines

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. I have been reflecting on my past, evaluating my present, and dreaming about my future. I have a dream to travel and speak, to share the story of what God has done in my life all over the world. I want to be used as a mouthpiece of God to speak hope to the hopeless. I want to reach out and speak hope into the lives of the abandoned, abused, and rejected. I want to see people physically and emotionally healed and restored. I want to help people see the greatness that they have in them. Basically, I want to believe in the people that no one believes in; the “nobodies” of the world and then I want to watch them step out and walk in their destiny.

I remember back in 2000 when I was a baby Christian and everything was so new to me. I was so happy and so overfilled with joy that I told everybody about Jesus. About 2 weeks after I gave my life to the Lord, I went to the beach to evangelize with Fort Myers Masters Commission. I didn’t know the first thing about how to evangelize, for that matter I didn’t even have one scripture memorized but I didn’t care. I just wanted to tell people that I accepted Jesus as my savior and for the first time in my life I had hope and happiness. I wanted to give that hope and happiness to all the people that were hurting like I had been. I wanted everyone else to have a chance to have hope. While out that night we met two guys that were looking for a good place to go and party. The FMMC students began to share the bible with one gentleman and before long a debate had started. The other young gentleman just kept asking about where to go and party. I decided I would tell him about Jesus and what He had done in my life just 2 weeks prior. I led that guy to the Lord that night. I was so happy that I was able to help bring hope and salvation to someone; that God would use me to share his message. I remember in that moment realizing that there was nothing else I would rather do. I wanted to dedicate my life to helping people meet Jesus. Not to long after this event, I also knew that I was suppose to use my story and my life experience as a tool for ministry. I was to use my story as a way to speak hope, healing, restoration to people’s lives.

I dedicated the next six years of my life to this calling. I went through intense discipleship. I was taught leadership. I went through hands on ministry training, learning about everything from nursery kids to elder care to the inner city (this was my favorite). I had the privilege of traveling all over the country doing school assemblies, church services, and missions work. I was able to share my story, sometimes to a room full of people, sometimes one and one. It was such an honor to be able to tell people about what Jesus did in my life. I looked for opportunities to speak hope, purpose, healing, and freedom into people’s lives.

Everything changed in 2006. I went through an extremely hurtful situation. This situation left me wounded beyond words. I didn’t know how to deal with what I was feeling. My life didn’t seem real at that point. My faith was shaken hard and I felt like a failure and a disappointment. I thought that God didn’t even want me anymore. I was in spiritual ICU. I was unsure of how to heal, how to recover, and how to move forward. I was so use to being the girl that fixes things and I couldn’t fix this.

The hurt that I experienced caused me to become very inward focused. I was back to not trusting people, not wanting to let people into my world, and not wanting to let people see the real me. All I thought about was me and how I was feeling. I stopped pouring my life into others, stopped believing in people, and stopped spreading the message of hope and salvation. I was so afraid to put my heart out there for fear that it would get trampled on. As I began to heal I slowly began to pour out my life to others but only from a place of safety; place of head knowledge. I kept everyone at an arm’s length for fear of being hurt again.

See, I was in a place of being consumed by me, my issues, my disappointments, and my perceived failures. What I should have been doing was focusing on God, the creator of the universe.  Philippians 4:13 says I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. It doesn’t say that I can do all things on my own.

During this season of my life I missed out on opportunities all around me to share the love of God with people. It was like I forget there was a whole world going on around me. It took a long time for me to realize this. I had no idea that I had become this person. I understand that a time to heal was necessary and vital. The thing I realize though is that after I healed I was walking around as if the injury still existed. My heart remained covered as if the wound was still there and I prevented myself from allowing people to see me because I didn’t want to be viewed as damaged goods. I also didn’t want anyone close enough that they could possible hurt my heart again. The risk taker in me had become someone that just sat on the sidelines and watched everyone else have victory, the whole time thinking that I would never be able to get back in the game. Don’t get me wrong, I had a lot of people cheering me on and pushing me to get off the sidelines. I just couldn’t seem to get my focus off of me. I was determined to never be hurt again. However, I realized that in my fight to protect myself I was losing out on all the wonderful blessings that the Lord had for me. He had people I was supposed to minister too, disciple and serve.

I have changed my prayer over the past year to part of a Hillsong United song and it says this: Heal my heart and make it clean, Open up my eyes to the things unseen, Show me how to love like You have loved me, Break my heart for what breaks Yours, Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause.

I want to challenge you today to allow yourself to heal from your past hurts and disappointments but do not allow yourself to get stuck on the sidelines because you’re afraid to get back in the game. Make a decision today to pay attention to the hurting people around you and speak life into them. Let’s be world changers and difference makers in the sphere of influence that God has entrusted us with!

Much love,
Dallas

Video about Sophia's Heart

Our Stories

I have been thinking a lot lately about my testimony. It is a story that I love to tell. I enjoy telling people about the pit of despair, hopelessness, and bondage that God brought me out of on January 25, 2000. It is a day that I will never forget and not a day goes by that I don't stop and appreciate the freedom and life that God gave me on that day. Revelation 12:11 talks about how we overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. I find it a great honor when I get to share my story with others, when I get to use it to bring encouragement to someone that is hurting and feeling hopeless. I get so excited as I watch hope be restored to them through the healing power of Jesus. Lately, However, I have been challenged to have a daily testimony. See, I want a story of what God did in me, for me, or through me today. He didn't stop working in my life on January 25, 2000. He had just begun. There are so many amazing things that He has done for me and through me since then. These are all testimonies of His grace, mercy, favor, and blessings. I am not negating my salvation experience, as it was a turning point in my life.....a defining moment of the woman that I would become. My life was forever changed that day. However, I want to live my life having a daily testimony. I want to run after God with all that is in me knowing that if I listen to Him, if I let him guide me I can be used by Him everyday to impact someone's life for the kingdom. 

Things at Sophia's Heart are going good. We are working on remodeling a wing of the building to prepare it for families. We currently have one family and they are making great progress. We are working hard to prepare to take in more families and anxiously awaiting the day that this is possible. We are currently second place in a bank contest. This bank will be giving $30,000 to the charity with the most votes at the end of April. If you have any spare time, please go and vote as much as possible. The website is http://www.wsbonline.com/anniversary/Default.aspx. You don't have to sign-up, register, or give any personal information to vote. 

Thank you all so much for your endless love and support!!

Hugs,

Dallas

Update on Sophia's Heart

I realize that it has been a long time since I've blogged and I know that you're all waiting in great anticipation to hear how things are going since I've been in Nashville. So....here goes.

I hit the ground running pretty much the day that I arrived in Nashville. I am working for an organization called Sophia’s Heart. We were recently given an rehabilitation hospital and we are turning it into transitional housing for displaced families. When we are finished and complete we will be able to house up to 45 families. I am the assistant program director so I have an active role in choosing what families we have the ability to help and rehabilitate (not always the fun part). Last year Nashville teachers reported 2, 177 homeless kids. That being said, there will be a lot of families that we will be unable to help. I also have a big responsibility in working out how we will do things logistically (like feed people) as we take in more people and when we get to full capacity. In addition to that I get to help develop the curriculum for the classes we will teach to the families, such as finances. 

We took in our 1st family about a month ago and they are doing great. We are going to start classes with them in about two weeks. This job has definitely been a learning experience and a bit challenging at times. However, I really enjoy it and feel blessed that God has entrusted me with such a position. I have made some incredible connections since being in this position as well as made a new friend or two. I work with an incredible team that all have such a heart for people.

On a personal note, I am working on my 30 day devotional book that I started like 3 years ago. I am close to having the 30 days completed. Upon completion of the 30 day I think I have decided that I will work on a 365 day devotional with the first goal being to get 6 months written.

That's all I really have right now. I'll try to write more in the next few weeks. I hope you are all doing well!!

Much Love,

Dallas

Front of the 77,000 square foot building

One of the rooms

One of the bathrooms set-ups. They don't all have tubs.

Private Courtyard that is completely surrounded by the building. You can't get to it from outside of the building.

This room isn't complete yet but this is an idea of how we want them to look when complete.

Lesson Learned

I read the other day that "life has a funny way of kicking you in the face but that you need to NOT stop believing in yourself." I am adding to this statement that you need to also NOT stop believing in God. After all, "if our God is for us then who can be against us." I know that when you are being kicked ... and circumstances are stacked against you ... and you can't see the way out ... that it's easy to become discouraged and to lose sight what the word of God says. It's easy in those times to withdraw and surrender to the circumstances that weigh you down; to become so inwardly focused that you develop tunnel vision. You can get so focused on your immediate circumstances that you forget there is a whole world out there. You sometimes can even  forget that you have the one thing that matters, the one thing that can turn everything around and that is God. He has the answers, the provision, the vision, the hope, comfort, and healing that you need. I have learned that during these times you need to turn your focus to God, to who He is. The Bible says that "no weapon formed against us can prosper." That is such great news! Nothing that happens to us is too big for our God to handle. We just have to let him. 

Many of you know back in August I moved to Amarillo for a job that fell through shortly after I relocated there. The next four months were filled with failed attempts to find employment, discouragement, near homelessness, and many other obstacles. It seemed like the harder I tried to work things out the worse things got. I became so frustrated with my life and couldn't understand what was happening. I even began to lose sight of the dreams that God placed in my heart and was thinking that they were never going to happen and that maybe I should just stop trying. 

Then...One day not too long along I had lunch with a friend. After lunch I got in my car and said "God, I don't know what else to do." I have done everything that I know to do and nothing is working. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it. I just can't go on like this anymore. I really believe that this was the first time I said that to God during this whole endeavor. See, I had been trying to do it all on my own. Dallas was trying to take care of Dallas instead of letting God take care of Dallas. 10 minutes after saying that to God I received the call about the job with Sophia's Heart. 10 minutes after I gave up control I was called and offered a dream job. Then, within the next week God provided everything I needed, including the funds,  to make the move to Nashville. It has been honestly one of the easiest transitions I have ever made.

All this to say that we need to remember who our source is. It isn't us. It is God. The Bible says "He knows the plans He has for us; plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans for a hope and a future." To trust in Him with all our heart and He will direct our paths. I wonder how much trouble and discouragement I could have saved myself if I would have trusted Him instead of trusting me. No matter what you're facing remember to give it to God and let Him have control.

Much Love,
Dallas

Exciting News

I have some exciting news to share. I have accepted a position with Sophia's Heart Foundation in Nashville, TN. They are opening a shelter for homeless and disadvantaged families. I am going to be the live in assistant program director.

Sophia's Heart Foundation exists to help mend and heal the hearts of children and families who have been touched by poverty, sickness, disease, broken families and broken dreams.

I am very excited  and humbled about this wonderful opportunity and I can’t wait to see what God does through this foundation. This is a dream job come true for me. I don't have all the details yet in regards to when I will be moving to Nashville.There are still a few details to wok out but I will make sure to keep you all informed as things continue to unfold. Thank you all so much for your love and support. It means so much to me.

Much love,

Dallas

If you would like more information on Sophia's Heart Foundation you can visit the website at www.sophiasheart.org. or find them on facebook, just search for Sophia's Heart Foundation.

You are for me

I heard a new song this week. I don't know if it's actually a new song but it's new to me. It is called " You Are For Me" by Kari Jobe. I encourage you to listen to it if you have not heard it. This song has really encouraged my spirit this week. Here are the words:

So faithful, So constant, So loving and so true, So powerful in all you do, You fill me, You see me, You know my every move, You love for me to sing to you.
 
I know that you are for me, I know that you are for me, I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness, I know that you have come down, Even if to write upon my heart, To remind me who you are

So patient, So gracious, So merciful and true, So wonderful in all you do, You fill me, You see me, You know my every move, You love for me to sing to you

I know that you are for me, I know that you are for me, I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness, I know that you have come down, Even if to write upon my heart, To remind me who you are.

Sometimes, we don't understand our present circumstances or why we are in a certain season or feel like we are taking one hit after another. Sometimes nothing that is going on in our lives makes any sense. Often during these times we think that God has abandoned us or that we will never see our dreams come to pass. Sometimes we even get mad at the people around us because great things are happening to them and they are living their dreams and we aren't. We even get to the point that we can't stand to hear them talk about the great things that are happening to them because it just feeds into our feelings of discouragement.

I love this song because it is a GREAT reminder that God is for you. He hasn't left you. He hasn't given up on you. He hasn't written you off as a failure and passed your dreams on to someone else. He says I am for you. He has a plan for your life. A plan to prosper you and not to harm you. A plan for a HOPE and a FUTURE. He says you will have trials but take heart because He has overcome the world. There is nothing you are facing today that has God surprised. There is nothing that you are facing that He can't handle. If you are in a place of discouragement, allow God to encourage your spirit. Stand on His word and His promises for your life. Combat the lies of the enemies with the truth of God and remember that your Heavenly Father is for you and if He is for you, who can be against you? God will never forsake you!! Be encouraged today and hold your head up knowing that your daddy God is on your side.

Much Love,
Dallas

Things aren't always what we expect

I have been in Amarillo for a month now and it has been an adventure. I went treasure hunting at a block party 2 weeks ago and was able to pray with 7 people for various things. God told me that there would be a Hispanic male with a knee injury at this party. He was there and allowed me to pray for healing of his knee. He didn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish so I wasn't able to find out if his knee was better but I believe God that it is. I love to tell people about Jesus and His love. There is no greater honor than to be used by God to minister to people. I have been attending a church called The Summit. I really enjoy it and the presence of God is definitely there. I have made a couple of friends from the church so that's good.

Most of you know, I came to Amarillo to take a job with a cake and cupcake company. The company has decided not to open the location that I was going to work at and manage. Therefore, right now I am currently job searching; one of my favorite things to do...NOT!!! I have interviewed with Starbucks and have a second interview tomorrow. I am praying that if Starbucks is where God wants me then I will get the job. If not, I am trusting that He will provide the perfect job.

Last week when I found out that my job with the cake company fell through, I thought to myself SERIOUSLY!!! I just got here. I just moved half way across the country for this job and now I don't have it. Are you kidding me??? My next thought was that it was time to pack up and go back to Birmingham. After all, what was keeping me in Amarillo? I don't really know anyone. I'm not plugged in at my church yet. I have no job. The logical thing is to call it quits and move home. However, the Holy Spirit is keeping me here. When I came here God said it wasn't so much about the job as it was a connection; a connection that is vital to my destiny. I wasn't expecting to lose the job so quickly but I know that God ordains our steps and He has me here for a reason. Things have not turned out like I have expected, like I had planned out in my mind. I don't know what's next for me here in Amarillo but I do know that God is faithful and He never leaves us or forsakes us. The bible says in Jeremiah 33:3 Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come. He always knows what is around the corner and He is never surprised. I do know that God has a plan for my life and call to do great things for the kingdom, a call to speak to the nations and to be a mouthpiece for healing and restoration. I do know that I will not relent, I will not back down, and I will not give up on what He has called me to do for Him.

I will leave you with this; I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. ...I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back!!!! Philippians 3:12-14 (MSG)

Hugs,

Dallas

What I've been doing in Amarillo

I made a promise that I would start blogging again to help keep everyone aware of how thing are going in Amarillo and what is going on in the world of me. That being said, this is blog #1 about Amarillo.

I have been here about a week and a half now. I have to say that there does not appear to be a lot to do in Amarillo. They do have a mall, Starbucks, and $2 movie theatre so that's good. One thing they have that I really enjoy is a House of Prayer. This is basically a church building. It has a coffee type area that has tables and chairs so you can study (they have wi-fi) or visit. This are also has a few Keurig coffee makers where you can have a cup of coffee for a $1. The building has designated prayer rooms for specific issues, and then the sanctuary is used for your personal prayer time. They have music playing in the sanctuary all the time and sometimes it's even live music. The building is open 7 days a week from 6am-midnight. I really enjoy going here to have my time with God. It is so important to have a place that is for you and God.

In regards to church, I went to a church called The Summit on Sunday. I liked it and I am planning on going again this Sunday. I went to coffee with the Associate Pastor's wife on Tuesday and had a good time. I have a few other churches in mind that I may go visit, depending what God says. I miss Kingwood though, for sure!!

The job is going good so far. We are planning on opening our mall location next week. A lot of what I have been doing is getting things ready for that. I don't want anyone to fall out when I say this but I have also been learning the baking side of things. I have learned to bake cheesecake, chocolate, winter white, champagne, red velvet, and strawberry cakes. On Fridays we have what we call cupcake Fridays. This is the one day of the week that we sell cupcakes from our kitchen location from 11am-6pm. Last Friday I made all the batters, baked all the cupcakes, and iced them all.

I also made cheesecake lollipops. They are so YUMMY!!

This what I have been up to since I've been in Amarillo. I will make sure to keep everyone posted as to what I'm doing and how I'm doing.

Much Love,

Dallas